Oh the Weather Outside is Weather

Seattle did this weird thing where it rained for 48 hours straight. Like a prisoner of war (okay, maybe not) I was confined to my (overpriced, ahem) fortress, convinced that I couldn’t possibly bear the cold, cruel outside world.

 I had about 5 ingredients in my fridge. Thin mints, apple juice, apple, pork shoulder, fennel and an onion. So I made the obvious choice, and whipped up thin mint crusted pork.

Yarf.

I did finish the the thin mints, and then made braised pork shoulder with an apple, fennel and onion reduction so good you’d slap your mother. Recipe as follows:

1lb pork shoulder

1 bulb of fennel, cored, halved and sliced thinly lengthwise 

1/2 yellow onion, diced

1 red apple of your choice (I used jazz because I like that musical theatre shit), sliced and cubed

1 cup apple juice

1. Start by cutting the pork shoulder in 1″ cubes and sauté in a few table spoons of hot olive oil in a dutch oven. Cook until all sides look like they received a bronze 3 spray tan. For guys, that means cook it ’till it smells like a sorority- I mean it’s brown on all sides. Transfer into a bowl. VERY IMPORTANT: Do not crowd the pan, this lowers the cooking temperature. Brown in batches, betches.

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2. Saute the onion and fennel in the same pan, adding additional oil as necessary. Use a wooden spoon to deglaze the bottom of the pan and incorporate the golden brown deliciousness that has accumulated. I didn’t include steps on how to dice an onion because if you can’t do that, you might want to take a lap and catch in at the “How to Make Top Ramen” post, chief. 

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3. After the onions turn translucent and the fennel is tender, deglaze the pan with 1 cup of apple juice and add the cubed apple. Bring to a simmer and let half of the liquid evaporate. Keep the cymbals splashy, and, Jay, let’s take the bass line for a walk. After the pot has reduced by half add the pork back in and reduce to a simmer. Let cook for 2-3 hours. 

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5. Uh, enjoy the shit out of this meat candy. I topped it on a bed a mashed cauliflower because lessbiannestt, this chick doesn’t need to be noming on mashed potatoes. 

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